Disclosure Day - A movie review

I am probably not going to spoil it too much, but I thought I would talk about my recent viewing of Disclosure Day. Overall, I found it 'Meh'. The brief and non-spoiler gist of the movie is "Suppose all that we've heard about aliens were true". So, Roswell happened. Alien autopsies happened. All of it. On "Disclosure Day" we will inform the world. For me, that is the biggest problem of the movie. All of those conspiracy theories have been so fully debunked, that the idea of a grand government conspiracy covering them up, hurts this movie hard.

Emily Blunt's performance is Oscar worthy. She does a lot of heavy lifting in this movie. It is part of the reason that I do not totally hate this movie. There is real interesting and good chemistry between her and Wyatt Russell. Also, there are moments when I think, "Wow! I am going to miss John Williams". In my opinion, those are the big highlights of the movie.

I do not want to knock Josh O'Connor's performance, because he is fine. However, I do not believe for a second that he is some sort of mathematical genius. In fact, I do not believe that his character is even a little smart. Mostly because the screen writers did not make him seem smart. In the movie, he does a bunch of plain old dumb things. Showing a bunch of mathematical symbols on a piece of paper is the only indication of his aptitude. If someone analyses that paper, it would probably turn out to be gibberish. Because, zero attention was given to what a "Mathematical Genius" would actually be like. Josh did not portray one.

Cookie cutter bad guys -- sorry Colin Firth. You root against them only because you are supposed to. Again, they are the giant government conspiracy folks who say things like "The Public is not ready to learn about aliens." How big a load of hooey is that? You strip that away, and the movie falls to ruins. Why is the public not ready? We have been living with "Roswell", "Area 51" and the rest since the late 1940s. We are well past ready.

I am a big fan of Mr. Spielberg. I hear "Spielberg" and I think it is probably good. He gets the benefit of the doubt for most things. This movie is very Spielbergian, but it misses at critical points. (Which is a problem that some of his movies suffer -- see "War of the Worlds") For me, some things will get a pass. However, if you are going to have a "Mathematical Genius", you had better convince me. Otherwise, it takes me out of my suspension of disbelief. Once out, it is hard to bring me back.

If you see it and like it, good for you. I really wanted to. However, if Emily Blunt had not given a tour de force performance, I probably would have hated the movie. So, there you go.

Pacific Rim -- Movie Review

So, I saw Pacific Rim this week.  It is very tough to avoid spoilers in this day and age, but I avoided all trailers, previews, reviews, and almost had to give up Twitter and RSS until I could see the movie.

For those that know me, this should be a movie for me.  I LOVE giant monster movies.  I have been a Godzilla fan since I was a kid, and I have seen a large array of kaiju movies.  I even see the terrible ones.  Yes I have seen the non-Godzilla Rolland Emerich thing.  I have even seen Pulgasari -- the movie Kim Jong-Il had made by kidnapping a South Korean filmmaker.  I have seen Garuda a Thai kaiju movie. I could go on and on.

To make a good giant monster movie, you need to follow a few simple rules.

1. You need a reason for the monsters to exist and attack.
• Good - The original Godzilla existed because of atomic testing and attacked for the same reason.  
• Bad - The marine iguana-like thing that attacked New York apparently always existed and picked New York for some nebulous reason -- and it was born pregnant.
2. If giant things fight, a definite "Good vs Evil" must be established.
• Good - Godzilla and Jet Jaguar are clearly the good guys when they face off against the Seatopian controlled Megalon and Gigan.
• Bad - Two earth children are kidnapped by aliens, so of course Gamera gets involved.  Gamera totally cares about xeno-relations.
3. Fighting and destruction (particularly with CGI effects) should just be a minor part of the movie.
• Good - The family is the important part of this movie.  The monster is just a plot device.  It is about characters.
• Bad - Two words -- Michael Bay.

So, what does all of this have to do with Pacific Rim?  Well, it gets all of these right.  At no point was I like -- enough with the CGI fighting -- it is 2013 we're not impressed with it anymore.  It fit.  It worked.  You know what we are fighting and why.  You know what is happening.  Guillermo del Toro gets it.  He is a story teller.  He knows how to make a kaiju movie!

My only complaint is one of the complaints I had about Cloverfield.  The monsters are too complicated.  They are very Gamera/Ultraman like -- involved and weird.  They just didn't work for me.  It is my personal belief that kaiju should be simple.  When we are working with giant monsters, we need to be able to get our head around them.  It is difficult if they have so much going on.

This movie is what giant robots vs. giant monsters should be.  It was fantastic!  Now on to another US Godzilla movie -- cross your fingers!

Prometheus - a review

With some friends, I watched the prequel to the Alien stories on Christmas eve. There is a Christmas Tree in it, so it must be a Christmas movie. Ooops! Spoiler Alert! Without further ado, here is my mildly spoilered review of Prometheus.

Filmmakers make prequels generally to answer questions raised in their previous movies. For instance, the Star Wars prequels answer the question as to where Darth Vader comes from, how the Empire got started, and all of this Clone War business.

So, Prometheus attempts to answer the big question that many people complained about the monsters in the Alien movies. The aliens from these movie spent all that time in space waiting for humans to come and discover them. Now that they are discovered, these aliens could now reproduce by implanting themselves inside a human. It seems like a very inefficient reproductive strategy. So, what is the deal

The one problem with prequels is that you have to end the movie at such a place to be consistent with the originals. So, this is one of the ways the Star Wars prequels go astray. They simply do not line up seamlessly with the original trilogy.

How did Prometheus fair? Well, the movie makers do quick work of that alien reproduction question. Namely, there is human DNA all over the place. You see, we were planted on Earth by an unknown and unnamed alien race. Presumably, these aliens also did this to other planets. Thus, human and human-like DNA is all over the place. There you go, end of story. Of course, that raises another question. What was the intent of these aliens? What is the deal with these uber-monster aliens? Where did they come from?

Okay fine, it is fiction, and humans were planted on Earth. I can live with that. However, the rest of the movie just goes right off the rails. It doesn't make any sense. I can think of dozens of ways to make a plot with these later questions and still have it make sense. I wish the makers of this movie used one of them.

I won't go into specifics, but at the end, we have as many questions as we have answers. For instance, why would you ever take your helmet off on another planet. I do not care if the air is exactly like Earth's, you would never ever catch me taking off my helmet. There is all kinds of microbial life in our air. What kind of microbes would you find on another world? Let's find out by taking our helmets off.

If I were the captain of the ship, as soon as they took their helmets off, they are living on that planet for the rest of their lives. I would not take them back to Earth. I would not even let them back into the ship. However, all of this human interacting directly with the environment is a plot point. They should have worked harder at this one. Leaky suit? Non-away crew member sneezed one of the suits? Be creative, don't be stupid!

Speaking of dumb plot points. Why did the guy who made the map of the structure get lost? Ummm... There were lots of crewmembers who could get lost, why the geologist guy? Why the guy who mapped the thing? I realize he was supposed to be hated, and you were supposed to cheer when he got his comeuppance, and all. You couldn't have another character map the structure? You couldn't think of another reason to leave them behind? Again, be creative, don't be stupid.

There were some good points about the movie. It very much had a similar look and feel to the original Alien movie. You could tell it was in the same universe. For the most part, it was well acted. (The unlikable geologist was a bit over the top.) The cinematography was also excellent. Many of the tropes from the Alien universe were there. It is just that all of this was for nothing in this train wreck of a screenplay.

If you turn off your brain, you might be able to enjoy it. But for me, the stupid burns too greatly. There is some tension, but I was constantly taken out of it by stupid plot points that screamed "Hey! I am an obvious plot point! Look at me!" So, if you like your scifi to be smart, you will avoid this one. It is too dumb.

John Carter (of Mars)

This weekend I saw the movie John Carter. I predict that although it was a mega-flop at the box office, it will not live in infamy like Battlefield Earth. The reason for this is that it simply is not that bad.

It has two problems as I see them, and they are very much related. First, it has a plot. Moreover, the plot is somewhat involved. Even more amazing, is that they were pretty faithful to the source material. Naturally, they were punished for this. Apparently, audiences today want razor-thin plots that marginally related to the esplodey bits.

With this complicated plot problem, this led to problem number two. How do you market it? In general, I have begun to avoid trailers and all other marketing material. Thus, I only have a thin idea of how this movie was marketed. I just know, that naming it John Carter was a huge mistake. How many people are going to know about the Edgar Rice Burroughs source material? Not enough to make this movie a hit -- or at least profitable. So, you have to tie it to something that people can understand. I am thinking they did not do that.

I have even seen the 2009 Traci Lords movie Princess of Mars. They essentially tell the same story. This movie is far superior to that one, but the Disney movie had a much bigger budget. There were several faces that I recognized in this movie. McNulty from The Wire, and Caesar and Marc Antony from Rome. The voice of Willem Defoe was there too. So, the cast wasn't shabby by any means.



* * * Spoiler Alert * * *

If you do not want to know about the basic plot of the movie, you will want to stop reading. I am probably not going to give anything away, but just in case...

John Carter is a former Confederate soldier on Post-Civil War era Earth. He makes a discovery and is transported to another world -- Mars. The source was written in an era when people believed life existed on Mars. Now, we have greatly explored Mars, and know that is not true. So, what do you to be true to the source? You keep it Mars. I think this is why they stripped the "of Mars" from the original title -- a dumb move in my opinion. Anyway, John Carter finds that Mars is experiencing its own civil war, and he does not want to get involved (for obvious reasons.)

Try as he might, he ends up getting involved anyway. You see, he also has super Martian powers. (It has been said that he is the inspiration for Superman.) Hence, his services are desired -- by the Princess of Mars, Dejah Thoris. A love interest, and they win the war and they all live happily ever after. But wait, there is a twist! There is another party that was spurring on the Martian civil war. They complicate the plot. They complicate the ending. They make this movie unacceptable to the Michael Bay crowd. They also make this movie more interesting than the Traci Lords version.

By attempting to stay true to the rather obscure source material, and attempting to update that material, they doomed the movie. Add to that the poor marketing and the ineptness of Disney in understanding what the production team was trying to do -- this movie did not have a chance.

I am not saying this movie doesn't have its problems. I am not saying this movie is great. I will go out on a limb and say this movie is better than any of the Transformer movies. It is also better than Cowboys and Aliens from 2011. I am guessing that the latter probably had a part in the poor performance of this movie. (Again because of poor marketing, but similar in tone, period, and topic.) This movie was fun, and interesting, and did not have a dirge of CGI things fighting each other CGI things for long stretches. There is a fantastically brief battle between two characters that was a breath of fresh air. Overall, I would recommend it for those that like action movies or Sci-Fi fantasy movies.

Film Review: Cowboys and Aliens

So, I watched Cowboys and Aliens last night. While I am not familiar with the source material, I liked it. (Reading the source material would require that "reading" part.) Here is my review: may contain spoilers!

For the most part, I think I am a fan of Jon Favreau's movies. After all, he did Iron Man.

One of the things I liked about it was that people you liked and cared about died. It goes against the typical Hollywood style by killing likeable characters. Further, the ending was bittersweet. This was because an important character dies. Thus, it doesn't have the joyous ending that is common in these types of movies. In other words, it did not conform to the Hollywood model. This is likely part of the reason why audiences did not care for it. I found it refreshing.

Further, at the beginning Harrison Ford is an unlikeable old codger. It was a departure for Mr. Ford. I am sure he relished the role. They did a good amount of character development with him. Of course, he was good (and believable.)

There is something about Daniel Craig. I cannot quite put my finger on it. I liked his performance in this movie. I think it is because he is at his best when he is playing a Clint Eastwood man with no name type character. That is, when he doesn't have any dialogue he is most enjoyable. However, he does not have quite the range that Clint does. Thus, in the subtler moments, he can be a bit hard to watch. He shouldn't be allowed to smile at all in film.

The rest of the supporting cast was very good. I will note that Clancy Brown and Sam Rockwell were especially noteworthy.

That is not to say that the film did not have its problems. There were two Deus Ex Machina moments in the film. I liked Daniel Craig's love interest Olivia Wilde. However, she is involved in one of the Oh come on! moments. This was probably part of the source material. The way they did it was a choice, and I think a poor one. Also, how Daniel Craig gets the alien weapon is a stretch.

Furthermore, the reason for the aliens coming to Earth is problematic. (Again, source material) However, this is a common problem for invasion films, so it isn't terrible. Well, at least it is forgivable.

There is the common Hollywood problem of not having to reload your guns. It is terribly noticeable in this particular film -- particularly at the climax. Why didn't any other humans use the alien weapons? We know how they come off...

Nonetheless, I enjoyed the movie. It could have been more fun. I think I would have gone a different direction, but that is me. I sometimes rewrite the movies while I am watching. Therefore, sometimes the movie I imagine I am watching is better than the one I am actually watching.

Godzilla vs. Megalon -- Full review.

This is one of those campy Godzilla movies that hits all of the right chords with me. The more I watch it, the more I like it. It is by no means a fine piece of Cinema D'Arte. No one going in should think that a couple of guys in monster suits would be capable of starring in any type of fine film. This is particularly true with the googly-eyed Godzilla featured in this film.

Monster movies have a difficult line to follow. Just about everyone is there to see the giant monster destroy things. Because of this, the destroying giant monster is the villain of the movie. After all, you cannot have good guys creating havoc in major metropolitan areas without repercussions. Nonetheless, we have a rooting interest in the monster. So, our protagonist must be more likable than the monster. Otherwise, when the monster is eventually destroyed, you feel bad (see Cloverfield).

One way around this situation is to have a couple of monsters fight each other. You get a good guy monster vs. a bad guy monster. (Or a couple for each as in Godzilla vs. Megalon.) In this way, you do not necessarily have to root for the human protagonist.  You root for your favorite monsters.

In this movie, the kid is a bit precocious -- read annoying. Our group of human protagonists is an odd group to put together. There is the kid and his brother the scientist. The pair are a good deal different in ages. If you did not know that they were brothers, you would assume they were father and son. It would make a bit more sense, but then you have questions about how a guy who builds a robot for fun would find time for women.

So, the weakness of this movie is the human cast. They are just there to fill in the plot points. The rest of the movie is men in monster suits smashing things and wrestling with each other. They make it work. It isn't intellectually challenging. It is just fun. You do not have the pro-environment message that Godzilla movies are prone to. It is simply an entertaining movie for the entire family -- read for kids (probably just boys).

This is one of the monster movies where the formula fits together and works. They got most of it right. The right mix of plot and destruction. In fact, you have to wait for quite a while for Godzilla to show up. It starts with the bad guys destroying things. Then Jet Jaguar comes along and swings it to the good guy direction. With that, the bad guys call in a hired giant monster cyborg (Gigan). Two on one until Godzilla shows up. The fight action goes back and forth.  Swinging from one side to the other -- just like in wrestling.

In my adultness, I ignore the poor plotting. The Seatopian's motivation seems reasonable, yet they are cast as the villains. We were using atomic weapons and killing them. They should retaliate. If they were just bent on retaking the surface world, without provocation that would be better.

It is still one of my favorites despite its flaws. I look forward to the new release! If I can have one extra it would be from this:

The film got its U.S. premiere in 1977 in a drastically-cut version on prime-time television, which included a bumper segment featuring John Belushi in a Godzilla suit!

(From the New York Times)

Live Blog a Viewing of Godzilla vs. Megalon.

These events occurred in 197x?

We're bad!  Go ahead and test nuclear weapons near Monster Island.

Groovy opening theme song.

We meet the Kenny. (Roku?) He is the brother of the inventor. They're only 30 years apart.

Wow! That crazy dolphin water thing doesn't go fast enough in an emergency.

Flashy blinky water.

Way to go! It was a perfect shot with the tow rope. Kenny is saved!

Lake drains. Where is the water going?

Empty lake visual effect, but you really couldn't tell.

Interrupt groovy 70's tune for radio report about earthquakes that drain lakes, but the music does continue.

Let's tell the story about the lost city -- like Atlantis but not.

Our heroes must be lovers because they sure aren't fighters.

Dune-buggy away!

Our first glimpse at Jet Jaguar and he doesn't have a head.

Button and sand -- smells like plot points.

Transition to lab work. Well done!

How many vehicles do these people have?

Easter Island references. Are we trying to develop some sort of plot?

Jet Jaguar is alive!

Uh oh! the Kenny is in trouble -- like we didn't see that coming when he got on that minibike.

Gas gun -- those Seatopians...

This Easter Island dance thing is not usually there. It was probably cut from the US version because it is filled with rather poor American actors.

They are dubbing the actor from English into Japanese. The subtitles match the lip movements.

Calling cockroach monster! You'd think the Seatopians would have a monster that was sea related...

Special effect.

The Kenny is into bondage -- er -- tied up.

Hey professor, you could not tell it was metal by looking at it? You had to test it?

Jet Jaguar theme of funk

The best characters in the movie, the dumb truck drivers. Well done men.

3,000,000 years ago Seatopia sank? Perhaps they aren't Atlanteans -- since they predate Homo Sapiens, language, rock 'n' roll...

Steal a robot to make an army because it is too difficult to develop your own.

Hey the professor's friend learned to fight.

Look! torture works.

Way to not prevent him from contacting his cohorts.

70's chase Japanese style. Bullitt it ain't.

Anticlimactic chase ends with slapstick

Oh no! Jet Jaguar is bringing Megalon to Tokyo

All right! Playboys in the truck! I knew I liked those guys for a reason.

Stock military footage.

Okay you guys, just dump that bad guy anywhere.

Now, unleash the models!

While you're at it, just dump that cargo container anywhere. Into the damn? Why not!

Now the truck drivers are car thieves. Good thing our heroes have an entire garage of vehicles at their disposal or they would be pissed.

Oh yeah. They'd survive being tossed about in the container like that.

Come on Megalon -- let's see some real destruction.

Deus ex machina! Jet Jaguar is free from its evil spell.

Battle number one! Those trees are taking a beating. Here's an idea aim those weapons at the giant monster!

Why doesn't Megalon fly? It's pretty silly to hop around like that.

Get Gigan on the phone. Megalon needs some help.

Pull up you're going in too low!

I think those models were just destroyed by Megalon. I mean...

You looked for the model shop keeper, that's good enough, just take one.

Hey! Jet Jaguar speaks Godzillan.

Big G is on the way, but the city is taking a beating.

I smell an overly complicated plan to get the bad Seatopian out of the lab. It didn't work as well as they'd hoped.

Let's just let the bad guy go. The script writers will figure a way to get rid of him. And, he's dead.

Suddenly splodie!

How is that tiny robot going to help Godzilla? I'm thinking another deus ex machina.

Clearly he programmed himself to break the laws of physics.

Another vehicle...

Robots can get dizzy.

The Jag knows karate!

Megalon using all his tricks. I don't know if I would call speed burrowing a power.

Gigan shows up and makes it two against one. Good thing the monsters speak the same language so they can coordinate.

Jet Jaguar needs his tag team partner to show up ASAP.

Is Godzilla skipping? He must be giddy about the upcoming fight.

Gigan and Megalon have never heard of the atomic elbow?

G climbs into the ring and starts off strong.

Feed Megalon that tree! He needs his roughage.

Rope-a-dope is the oldest trick in the book and Godzilla fell for it!

Way to break out the atomic fire on the fly-boys!

Good thinking bugboy -- taunt Godzilla and Jet Jaguar. They're going to open a can of whoopass on you!

More fire for Gigan.

Our bad guy monsters couldn't pick up a kitty. One has hooks and the other have pointy-drilly things. No wonder they're evil!

Ring of fire!

Dancin' Kaijus WMAGNFARB.

You guys forgot that Jet Jaguar can fly. Sometimes the bad guys are so dumb.

How does that atomic fire work for you Megalon?

JJ for the atomic fire assisted body slam!

With Gigan splitting -- time for the flying drop kick on Megalon.

Bad guys defeated. Seatopians seal their entrance. We'll never be bothered by them again.

A found farewell to Big G.

Happy Jet Jaguar theme! Akira Ifikube is getting his money's worth out of the theme. He has lots of arrangements of it.

And like magic, Jet Jaguar returns to normal.

I'm sure that the rogue actions of the robot were an anomaly, nothing to worry about now.

Jet Jaguar theme with words and we're out.

I am more powerful than you can imagine...

Last week I posted my review of Dr. Who Season 5, and this week we get this report.  All I have to say is FEAR ME!

Dr. Who - Season 5

First a little background on my introduction to Dr. Who. With this background, you will get a better perspective on my point of view.

I never watched Dr. Who. Thus, I have no nostalgic connection with the Doctor and everything that was introduced before the reboot. I started watching when Christopher Eccleston started. He is my first doctor. I remember seeing Tom Baker on PBS and thinking that the special effects were too special for me. Thus, I have no allegiances to the Daleks, Cybermen, or anything that came before the current run.

Christopher Eccleston (and Billy Piper) won me over to the series. I put all of my time travel issues aside and enjoyed the ride. I have stayed with the series the entire way since then. I just finished watching the latest Doctor Matt Smith. Here is what I thought.

The Good:

The entire run has been impeccably acted. I cannot complain about any of the acting. While I may have my preferences as far as the Doctors and companions, etc. All of the actors are very good.

The special effects are top notch. Gone are the cardboard looking sets. The aliens appear to be more than actors in funny suits. Also, they are not over used. While it is not imperative to have quality special effects, they help the stories in this series.

River Song!

The Bad (Warning Spoilers Ahead)

The reason I kept with Doctor Who against my time travel prejudice was because the original run appeared to tell good stories and not dwell on the time travel. The Doctor would go somewhere interesting and have an adventure. The big problem with Season 5? The ENTIRE SEASON was spent on earth! With the vast expanse of time and space, they had all 13 episodes focusing on earth.

Hey Writers! ALL of the Daleks have been killed over and over again! They are all gone. Dead! Here is an idea -- come up with some new nemeses for the Doctor! I have no connection to them. They were cool. They hold nostalgia for some fans. You should have thought about that before you killed them all -- all those times!

The Angels from the Blink episode in Season 4 were really cool. Thanks for ruining them in Season 5! Using a Deus Ex Machina to rid the universe of them. Well done!

Who were the interesting aliens introduced in Season 5? How can you introduce cool aliens if you spend the entire time on Earth? Homo Reptilicus? Meh! The Vampire Fish people? Lame! You might as well have tattooed we're trying to attract the Twilight fans on the Doctor's forehead. The alien(s) in The Lodger (while far fetched) was the most interesting nemesis in the entire run. I should not have said that because you will bring them back in some strangled fashion.

Also, the entire premise of time travel is filled with potholes. Way to fall into every trap possible in season 5. There were so many paradoxes! Way to celebrate the impossibility of the series! Why don't you take the Doctor back to Gallifrey and visit some Time Lords? All he has to do is go back in time before the war, and BAM! Time Lords! Gone is the idea of them existing outside of time. After all, the Doctor can meet River Song after she meets him -- or something.

I did not care much for season 4. There were some good episodes in that season, but not nearly enough. Season 5 had one! The Lodger -- it could have happened in space or anywhere, but happened on Earth. That was it! The fate of the entire universe did not hang in the balance of that episode. It was a small, sweet story with a horrible monster. More of that please! We don't need to save all of humanity in every single episode. The doctor is becoming more and more like Wesley Crusher in Star Trek. When the episode focused on Wesley, you knew the safety of the entire Universe hung in the balance. Just tell interesting stories!

I hate to be the only nerd in the world who hates Doctor Who, but there you have it. I liked season 1 and 2, but have been less and less satisfied as it has gone along. It hasn't been the actors, the characters, or the special effects that made me dislike the show. It is the terrible writing -- there I said it. Terrible, lazy, and unimaginative! These guys are supposed to be the best in brightest in Sci-Fi. I say that is far from true.

So, why did I watch season 5 in the first place? It is because Neil Gaiman wrote and episode in season 6. So, Neil, you owe me! Show the Dr. Who writers a thing or two. However, I think the framework you are working with is already broken. Perhaps irreparably so. I guess I will have to suffer a few more episodes before calling it done!

Monsters - Movie Review

I watched the movie Monsters last night, so I thought I would give it a little review.  First I will give a brief overview and my thoughts, and then after the jump, I will go into spoilery detail.

Six years ago NASA discovered the possibility of alien life within our solar system. A probe was launched to collect samples, but crashed upon re-entry over Central America.

That is the back-story that is covered in the opening titles.  It sounds a bit familiar.  Should George Romero sue?  No need, as this probe causes giant monsters to form not raise the dead.  Because of this, a good portion of Mexico is quarantined in order to prevent the spread of these aliens.  Before you go thinking that this is some kind of Kaiju movie, the monsters are not really the main characters of the movie.  They provide the backdrop for the story.  It is the story two people who are attempting to get from Mexico to the United States.  At the beginning they would rather be doing something else.  Nonetheless they are plotted to travel together.  It is basically the plot of The African Queen.  Although Whitney Able looks way better than Katharine Hepburn did in The African Queen.

You have a reluctant male character, a photographer in Monster's case, who is hired to bring someone back though beautiful yet dangerous territory.  If you are expecting the giant monsters to rampage through a major city, you are not going to get that.  It is mostly a story about relationships.  A love story wrapped up in Kaiju clothing.  It is wonderfully shot.  The effects are really good.  The monster is menacing but not too complicated.  The effects help aid the story rather than being the sole purpose for the movie.  It was well done all around, it just did not appeal to me too much.  A fine movie, but not gripping.  I liked that it left a lot of things ambiguous.  That helped, but it was still a love story.  In the NetFix style review I give it three stars out of five.  The more specific and spoilery review after the jump.

The Black Hole - Review - Part 2

With Dwayne's Robot Romper Room concentrating on the robots from Disney's Black Hole, I thought I would write a review of it.  However, I have not seen the movie since it was in theaters.  That fact made me want to do a two part review.  The first part was my recollection of the movie from that time.  The second part -- this one -- would be from me watching it today on DVD.

The reviewing review:

Well, that was a bit of a surprise. I was worried that it would not hold up, but it did pretty well.  The plot was pretty much what I outlined in the first review.  What I had not remembered was what Dr. Reinhardt's secret was.  However, the link from the Palomino crew and the Cygnus was Kate McCrae's father was supposedly on-board.  I had not quite remember that detail. 

Aside from the atrocious physics, the effects and the story do pretty well.  Clearly, Albert Einstein was not consulted in the making of this movie.  However, as just a popcorn muncher, it moves well.  It has all of the well worn cliche's from the westerns.   "Go on without me, I am done for!" was not exactly spoken, but that is in there.  The worshiping character who is the last to discover the truth.  The selfish character who betrays the rest only to die.  It is all well worn ground.  That is probably why many people give this movie bad reviews.

However, the nostalgia factor makes me continue to enjoy this movie.  Slim Pickens was probably the best part of the movie for me.  His performance still holds up -- as does Roddy McDowell's.  The effects were pretty good, and for the most part not simply used for the wow factor.  (Although there are a few of those.)  You can tell this was not a low budget movie.  They took care in the effects.

The small problems I had was why would robots need target practice?  And, why would they care if they won or lost?  This scene was used for character building of the robots (both the good guys and the bad), but it does not make a lot of sense.  If I were watching it fresh, I think i would find Maximilian Schell's performance was a bit over the top.  The ending still stinks!

I have to say this movie still holds up.  The visual effects do not look too cheesy.  The story does not mess around.  Things happen and they happen quickly.  It has a bit of the Forbidden Planet feel to it -- especially at the beginning.  You definitely do not have to wait around for the shoes to drop.  They drop quickly and often.  Thus, I felt that it had good pacing.  It has plenty of action and drama.  I will stick with my 3.5 stars.  It is not the greatest movie.  It was clearly made as an answer to Star Wars, so it pales in comparison.  However, you can tell the bad guys from the good.  The story does not get in the way of the effects and vice versa.  It is just a fun movie.

The Black Hole - Review - Part 1

With Dwayne's Robot Romper Room concentrating on the robots from Disney's Black Hole, I thought I would write a review of it.  However, I have not seen the movie since it was in theaters.  That fact made me want to do a two part review.  The first part -- this one -- would be my recollection of the movie from that time.  The second part would be from me watching it today on DVD.

The 14 year old Doug's review:

It seems to me that there was a time when Science Fiction was taking over the westerns.  After all, Gene Roddenberry pitched Star Trek as Wagon Train in Space.  Thus, many of the western stories were being recreated in scifi.

One common western trope was that of a town run by man with a secret of some sort.  He hires the sheriff who is ruthless and keeps order.  The town is ruled with an iron fist of the sheriff.  In this town is a wily old prospector who steers clear of the trouble in town.  Then, some outsiders show up looking for someone or something.  With the help of the old prospector, they solve the mystery.

That sounds very much like the plot of the Black Hole.  The ruthless sheriff is the robot Maximilian. The ruler of the city is the Dr. Reinhardt.  The prospector is of course B.O.B played by Slim Pickens.  The group coming to visit the town (the Cygnus) is the crew of the research ship USS Palomino.   It pretty much fits.

So, the 14 year old in me remembers fondly this plot.  Whether it is actually the plot or not, I will find out when I watch it.  I remember liking the robots.  At least, B.O.B. and V.I.N.Cent.  I was not suppose to like the evil robot Maximilian.  I found him quite ominous.  In this way, the story and the movie worked for me.  I remember very little about the movie except the robots and Dr. Reinhardt.

I have the thinnest memory of Anthony Perkins in the movie.  (I had not seen Psycho yet, so I did not know him from anything.)  Ernest Borgnine was in it.  I have no memory of him in it at all.  I had been a McHale's Navy fan (in reruns) so I knew who he was.  Thus, the protagonists other than the robots, left little impression on me.  That scares me a little.

The movie sucked the 14 year old me in.  The fairly simple plot, the good characterizations of the robots, and the awe of the spectacle were enough.  I am sure the effects are cheesy by today's standards, but they worked for me back then.  Maximilian scared me to the proper degree.  Thus, most of the elements worked for the 14 year old me.

The only thing that I did not like about the movie was the end.  Not sure what they were going for or what they intended.  I left the theater with a what was that? feeling about the ending.  In fact, I was so curious as to what they meant by the ending, that I read the novelization of the movie.  Well, to be honest, I just read the last chapter of the book.  I am still not sure what they were thinking, but reading the book made a little more sense, but just a little.

Fighting away all the negatives, I think I would give it 3.5 stars out of 5 (the modified netflix system).  It was entertaining for the 14 year old me of the time.  We will see if it holds up to the nostalgia waves that are likely clouding my judgment of the film.

Cloverfield Review

This is a repost from one of my old haunting ground ARWZ:

Cloverfield begins with someone tasked to record everyone's good wishes for a character who is leaving for Japan. (Over this character's own video of a day at Coney Island.) Needless to say, at some point the party is interrupted by an event. Luckily our cameraman keeps rolling!

I am not sure about this movie. It definitely has too much American 20 something angst for my taste. I love her, but I haven't told her, and now she is with someone else... Blech!

I also feel the monster is too complicated. If you are doing a POV thing, you should have a simple and scary monster.

These two things hurt the movie. The wise cracking guy with the camera is hit and miss. Shaky home movies are somewhat difficult to watch at times.

However, this movie is one that I SHOULD like. It does a good job at building towards the monster reveal. It does a good job building tension and moving the action along. It draws you in pretty well. However, it is missing something that I haven't quite figured out. Perhaps if I see it again, I'll figure it out. Only then will I enjoy it.

The Matrix is a classic?

Over at Dumb as a Blog (hat tip to io9) there is a list of the "Dumbest Reviews of Classic movies".  There they quote a review of The Matrix which reads:

"It's astonishing that so much money, talent, technical expertise and visual imagination can be put in the service of something so stupid."- Bob Graham, San Francisco Chronicle September 24, 1999"

I could not agree more with this review.  Good on you Bob Graham!