Ash (aka Hyperdyne Systems 120-A/2 android): Ash was the science officer on board the Nostromo in Ridley Scott's 1979 Alien. Being a true corporate man...er, android Ash deliberately allows an infected crew member aboard the Nostromo as per his secret instructions which states, "Bring back alien life form. Crew expendable." Boy, were they. However, the crew was quick to make Ash expendable first.
Hymie (aka Hymie the Robot): Hymie appeared on TV in Get Smart which ran from 1965- 1969. He was played by Dick Gautier. Originally designed by Dr. Ratton to serve with KAOS, he is ultimately convinced by Maxwell Smart to join CONTROL. Hymie is designed with many superhuman capabilities; however intelligence is not one of them. After all he was convinced to join CONTROL by Maxwell Smart.
As I stated in a previous blog post (this is the fifth installment, so you should know by now...) I purchased the MST3K Gamera pack. Since I have received it; naturally, I am going to live blog the watching of it. So, put in your copy of Gamera vs Zigra and follow along!
Theme song - la la la
Rootbeer kegger. Super party! Mystery voice is drunk on rootbeer!
Set wayback machine to Nia Peebles joke!
TV's Frank is a Stooge-a-holic! Thus, the Mads invent the Stooges gun with the appropriate Stooge gun defense.
Joel turns TV's Crow into a delicious shish-kabob.
Last Gamera movie...
Back to the ocean credits -- with funky 70's theme.
The moon is a sandbox! (At least its model looks like it.)
Naration -- boring!
Horribly cheep space models. Where is the love Gamera movie makers?
Perky voice actors. I hope they're not on long. That would get old fast.
Kenny! (and Helen)
SeaWorld™ tie in. Get with it Kenny.
Kiss the picture? Then kiss the whale.
Kenny wants adventure. That will end well.
More SeaWorld&trade footage -- talk about product placement.
Cut up the dolphin.
Kenny (and Helen) are missing - big laugh.
Science destroys everything.
This is a movie and we watch them. So, why are they showing us people listening to the radio.
Magnitude 16 Earthquake? Let me see that would be 887,503,681 times more powerful than the biggest quake ever to strike the earth. I can't see it doing much damage.
Peanut butter sandwiches and lemonade -- these guys know how to live.
Kenny and Helen ate their lunch. They should be severely punished.
The flying saucer is seen on radar, so it wasn't Kenny's imagination. Glad to see the scientists aren't asleep at the wheel.
Gamera shows up. Helen does like Gamera. Hey a smart kid!
Attractive space alien. So, typical Gamera film.
Zigra star space ship? Never heard of it. Is it local? I wonder why the guy has never heard of it. It is quite a mystery.
Hey, Zigra is a Romulan.
400 light years means it would take 400 years to get here at what speed. Thanks for the science lesson.
Space is curved? So, you can ignore all of that Relativity crap!
If we learn anything from Gamera it is listen to the kids. They're smart...
Tell the earth about the alien magic tricks.
Wait, they can broadcast to everyone. Why do they need these people? If the aliens know whats best for them, they'd kill the humans now.
Magnitude 18? Dad is BSing the kids...
We see a model of Gamera made by the bots. Gamera has lots of room inside. He even has an interior pinball machine.
Tokyo was only a model.
Wait the humans polluted the seas on Zigra - the planet. We did this from earth? Very confusing.
Heavy anti-pollution message here. Must have seen Godzilla vs Hedorah. (AKA Godzilla vs The Smog Monster.)
Kids run wild. Kenny knows how the ship works. He is smart. He can make it take him home.
On the other hand, Kenny can't start a boat.
Kenny and Helen know too much... I told them they would rue the day they didn't kill Kenny on sight.
Zigra wants to eat the Earth's land animals. He must know about bacon.
Shark poorly greenscreened. Is that a shark? What is this all about?
Those kids would be toast without Gamera.
Gamera theme! They're saved. Drat!
If the kids could start the bost motor, Gamera would be unneeded.
Where are their parents. They were on the boat at one point.
Kenny knows all about time travel. He should teach astro-physics at a university somewhere.
Hey its 1985!
Kenny and Helen are only a little pretensious.
Interview the kids. They know everything.
Who is the third kid? Why is she horning in on Kenny and Helen's moment in the spotlight?
Get the best military doctors - listen to the kids. They'll know how to wake the dads.
They're going to attack Zigra. We know how well that will work.
No Military fight scene? This movie has no budget.
Alien in a bikini. Hey Japan does exploitation!
Who are these people? And why are they in this movie? Is there a point to the fish argument?
Did SeaWorld™ pay for this movie. If so, they should have ponied up more money. No military fight scene? Cheap bastards.
Goodbye bikini hello short skirt.
Use the H-bomb! But there is no budget to show it.
Kenny and Helen escape. I would have never guessed.
Sure alien lady you won't hurt them. I want to hurt them...
She hypnotizing the entire planet.
Calling Gamera - where is he?
Gamera fighting the space ship of gumballs. Uneventful fight, but it was underwater?
Gamera's flame works underwater.
Zigra programs himself to be bigger.
Crow tells old fishy jokes.
Gamera vs Zigra was anticlimatic.
No cure for the Zigran hypnosis. I feel like I'm losing consciousness. Coincidence?
This movie is full of silly science. Nearly enough, but it worked.
She finally caught the kids. Go away or the kids get fed to the dolphins.
Recap on why the hot girl was a Zigran.
Good thing the kids were a part of the military meeting.
Toy helicopters - they are going down.
Gamera is dead on the sea floor. We can dream...
The plot is off the rails.
Doesn't anyone watch these kids.
Cheep toy effects. Come on SeaWorld™, fork over more dough!
Back to the party on the SOL. Sports talk.
Mike Nelson is Kenny.
Now the kids are in trouble. Where is Gamers?
Let them all die.
Only an hour. It'll be forever until they are dead
Zigra can talk without moving his mouth. Ventriloquist monster.
That was a slow 10 mintes.
I think there needs to be a few more experts in this movie. Someone get Stephen Hawking on the phone. Maybe he can figure out this movie.
And Kenny is dead...
Gamera is sleeping through this in the ocean
The Zigran hypnosis is getting to me. I am having trouble staying awake.
Back to the dead children.
Another underwater fight. We need buildings being smashed, but that won't happen underwater.
Gamera has sea-island green blood
Drat. The kids are fine. I had big hopea...
Now out of the water. Not much better
Zigra is musical -- when being played like a marimba.
With the music, we get a little Gamera dance.
By thunder it be National Talk Like a Pirate Day! Shiver me timbers! What're ye doin' fer it? I'm a postin' this here video thing. (Although we're on the Ninja side of this whole Pirates vs Ninja debate.)
As I stated in a previous blog post, I purchased the MST3K Gamera pack. Since I have received it; naturally, I am going to live blog the watching of it. So, put in your copy of Gamera vs Guiron and follow along!
Gamera vs Guiron
Theme song -- la la la.
The bots are eating lunch from MST3K lunch boxes!
Tom Servo has a note from his mom in his lunchbox. Tom Servo has a mom? Nope.
Cheese blockage joke doing double duty tonight.
The Mads invent a new centerfold - the Rorschach version. Only the crazy get turned on by them, so Frank sees an attractive woman and his mother.
Joel has collapsible trash can -- you know -- for camping.
We've got movie sign!
No ocean for these credits and the theme is lame.
A series of stills with voiceover. I was hoping they would describe the plot...
It starts off with scientists that could bode well.
Very poor dubbing. They should have hired actors to dub this.
I hope this guy is not a main character -- his dubber is the worst.
Kids discover the space ship. Scientist asleep at the wheel.
Mom doesn't notice the kid wearing a coat. He is definitely ready for bed.
Jump to morning with a song from TMBG -- maybe not.
Snuck past officer Kon-chan who was practicing kendo. He is clearly the comic relief.
Joel and the bots call him Officer Cornjob! So, Cornjob threatens to shave the kids' heads -- foreshadowing...
Kids are not afraid of bush shaking.
The space aliens are good at painting.
The aliens should have locked their spaceship before exiting - darn hooligans.
Stealing a spacecraft is -- being naughty. I am sure Mom will believe that story!
Kids are in trouble -- cue Gamera.
In space, Gamera can scream. Is there nothing he can't do?
Gamera song - in movie. I think they're going to get lots of mileage out of it.
Gamera loves juvenile delinquents. Honestly Officer Cornjob -- they were just joyriding that spaceship.
Gamera! Gamera! Gamera is really neat... everyone sing!
Gamera is really smoking
These kids can really fly that stolen ship.
Kids speeding away from Gamera. Rub in the whole turtle thing.
Mom doesn't believe in anything. I would have never suspected that.
Hey no adults listen to kids... Are you sure this is a Gamera film?
Model planet ... destruction cannot be far behind.
They call that acting...
Vampire Gaos makes a showing.
Razorface? Knifeface? Guiron vs Gaos.
Razorface reflects laser -- off goes the leg. Gaos is still lame -- get it? Lost a leg...
Gaos isn't long for this movie.
But a scratch! His arm's off? He is nothing be a head...
Aliens have transporter pyramids. They are so easy a child can use them.
Lots of cutting humor from the crowd.
They still think they are on a star. Don't they know the difference?
Servo makes light of the poor dialogue dubbed from the young characters. He is right.
How do you get off a moving walkway -- oh jump off.
Meet the aliens -- Gedney and Cloy.
No wait -- that was a disguise. These aliens sure are attractive.
Universal translator -- how convenient.
Still mixing up star and planet.
These kids are getting ready for their PhD theses.
Pluto is a planet. These kids know everything. Silly astronomy!
Computers made monsters. Those lucky Terrans.
Magician Joel uses Guiron Servo to cut Crow in half -- reveal is ruined.
Only two aliens left -- need to repopulate... I'm just sayin'.
These kids think they are really lucky -- it must mean trouble.
Crow is still wearing a shower cap (from the ruined reveal). Looks weird without the net.
They are going to eat the kids' brains -- they're not going to get much.
Hypnotized -- to get donuts.
What else do they learn? Gamera is the freind of kids. Yep, they're not going to get full on these kids brains.
Clip show! When Gamera destroyed that dam -- they somehow skipped that. They also don't show him killing all those people. He just saves kids.
Kenny! And Itchy.
Gamera footage from some other Gamera movies.
Mmmmmmmmm raw brains.
They are going to eat their brains and take their knowledge!
Mom is not worried about her kids running away. They'll be fine. It is not as if their any brain eating aliens around anywhere.
Officer Cornjob is on the job!
Those stone stairs down are very convenient.
Doesn't mom know that kids know everything?
Here comes Gamera to keep the kids safe. He will try to prevent them from... They ate the donuts.
Out they go...
Hair cutting time -- officer Cornjob misses his chance.
Gamera vs missiles -- standard result.
Release the steaknife!
Monster fight -- Gamera takes the early lead.
Ninja stars -- that was unexpected.
Guiron's advantage continues as Gamera bleeds profusely. Spock blood!
Plot is revealed to Kids! These two will foil everything!
Kids escape because the aliens ignored them. Clearly, these two aliens do not believe in security.
Bad boys bad boys what you going to do?
Locked up at last in a shake machine.
Back on Earth, the reporters want to interview the girl because kids know everything. Why don't the parents think so?
No one cares about the moms whose sons have been kidnapped by brain eating aliens. Let's hear from the little girl.
Crow T Robot does a good Richard Burton. (One of the kids has a vague similarity to Richard Burton.)
Who is Afraid of Gamera Turtle and King Arthur in musical Gamera are two Richard Burton films I've missed.
Back in the movie, Gamera will save the kids because they are trapped in a megaphone. He can hear whatever they say.
Rex Dart (gun) -- Eskimo Spy. Getting plenty of mileage out of that.
Release the Guiron!
Alien ship cut in half. Everyone is stuck on the planet now.
Alien treatchery. Now only one alien left. That was smart.
The Tom character in the movie takes a styrophoam rock to the noggin.
In the water, Gamera is healed.
Monster fight is back on.
Tempering the monster blade with a little Gamera fire.
Gamera even jumps up and down slowly.
Gamera nails the landing.
Guiron is back in his coffin.
Gamera goes underwater to regenerate again. His opponent is a knife faced creature, but the ninja stars get him every time.
Wait how did Guiron get out?
Underwater fight without the water.
Guiron in space!
Guiron's blade stuck in the ground -- how embarrassing.
Last alien is dead.
Guiron is cooked.
Hey! Gamera can weld. He welds the spaceship back together.
Kids get jammed into jury rigged spaceship.
Return of Gamera song. We believe in Gamera.
Once again kids observe objects before scientist.
Listen to the kid! Tell them Cornjob.
In his mouth?
Maybe if you watched your kids more closely...
Hey they got the planet thing right.
We are anxious for the dissertation.
Festive Gamera song in mock Japanese. Hirohito Gamera
Black haired Mike Nelson telling celebrity gossip on the piano.
Plays Gamera theme in a Roger and Hart way then Gershwin. Kill him!
Johnny 5 (aka Strategic Artificially Intelligent Nuclear Transport (SAINT) Number 5). This military robot in the 1986 movie Short Circuit is struck by lightning and goes on a rampage destroying the freedoms of Americans! At least, that is what Captain Skroeder (G. W. Bailey) would have us believe. However, other characters played by Ally Sheedy, Steve Guttenberg, and Fisher Stevens would have us believe that this robot is alive and not bent on complete destruction of the human race. I don't know who to believe...
Last night I watched TrollHunter. Here is my review -- it was really good!
This is my kind of movie. The only minus I would have would be the Blair Witch POV cam thing. This movie tracks the story of some college kids making a student film. Their topic of choice is some mysterious bear killings. They follow a man who they think is a poacher only to find he is not. They discover the truth.
The TrollHunter himself is played by Otto Jespersen. Mr. Jespersen plays the part to perfection. He is part crotchety old man and part capable troll hunter. He is the Grizzly Adams of the troll hunting sect.
The college reporter Thomas was played by Glenn Erland Tosterud. He does a good job of just getting out of the way. He pushes the story along and fills in the plot lines. Mostly, him and his team follow this mysterious man around. That is all that is needed. We are put where the action is.
There are other enjoyable characters who just add a little color and tension to the story. Johanna Mørck plays the lovable sound person -- Johanna. She is there to give Thomas someone to bounce things off of. The camera guy is mostly unseen -- which is how it should be.
The antagonist Finn played by Hans Morten Hansen is also well done. He's the guy from Natural Resources Management -- nudge nudge wink wink. The Norwegians have that Scandinavian Stoicism down pat! So, there is very little to complain about there.
We know the Japanese know how to make monster movies. The Host by the South Koreans was excellent. Now we know the Norwegians can make good monster movies. When will the Americans learn?