As I stated in a previous blog post last week, I got the MST3K Gamera pack in the mail. So, naturally, I am going to live blog the watching of it. So, put in your copy of Gamera vs Baragon and follow along!
Title song - la la la
DOS vs Mac interfaith war -- System 7? This was a LONG time ago (in computer terms.)
Joel’s invention exchange expands conscience about recycling with animatronic Orange Crush can
Tom Servo’s head pops up! Perhaps the only time that happens.
Disco cumber-bubble-bun - is a thighmaster bubble machine...
Sandy Frank joke!
Another ocean opening sequence -- snoozeville, but the theme music is better.
Clip show... ends with different result. Gamera doesn’t make it to Mars after all. A ‘meteor’ prevents Gamera from reaching Mars.
Gamera gets colorized and destroys dam for no reason. So is Gamera bad again?
Gamera rampage right off the bat then he flies away. Where is Kenny?
Gamera moves into a volcano. Evicts mad scientist one would assume. Is this the last we’ll see of Gamera?
Japanese geisha music -- not rock and roll.
This is the Pilot's last day. This could be bad...
Smoking and gun powder what could go wrong?
Pilot wants to own flight company, so he doesn’t die in a plane accident on his last day. Darn the luck!
Huge opal in the jungle. Could this be a plot point?
Why the secrecy? Are they doing something illegal?
Fake ids for everyone!
Maru must mean boat. Lots of Japanese boats are named something Maru. See Kobiyashi Maru.
New Guinea is nice this time of year.
This plan makes no sense.
Working on a boat is hard. The maker of the fake ID’s has cush job. Huh...
GPS would be so helpful now.
Natives speak Japanese (er dubbed English) well one does. Very convenient to have such a pretty translator.
It's the doctor!
Will pretty lady lead us to our cave.
Apparently there is only one cave in all of New Guinea.
This expedition is legit, so no need for help. That is why all of the fake ID stuff right?
Lets piss off the locals!
I want this MST3K advertised “5000-piece Men and Monster” set. Lights, Gamera, Action series does not includes Gamera -- need the Monster expansion pack.
Who needs a guide? Apparently all roads lead to the cave. They just quickly walk there. Since there is only one, what could be easier?
Death scorpion in three two one...
That’s going to leave a mark.
And he’s dead, and we’ve discovered the villain of the movie!
Pilot is probably next... lucky he is needed to fly them out of there.
Give me the opal and I'll give you the gun.
Let’s look for more treasure. Um you are doing it wrong.
Grenades with fuses?
Pilot lives! He survived the cave falling in on him. That is quite lucky, but where is the opal?
Pretty girl wants to know about the treasure. What did they find in the cave? What was so valuable to kill over?
Hey! How did opal thief get away without the helicopter? Isn’t that why they needed a pilot in the first place?
Science cannot explain the opal?
Send the pretty lady!
So if the egg leaves the cave it will hatch? Even after 20 years? Baragon’s life cycle is so confusing.
Egg hatched in a terrible sequence.
Wait. The sea crew doesn't miss the dead guys? They are making a fuss over the remains the bad guy brought back -- but don’t notice he left two friends behind. Yeah, I can see that.
Boat explodes -- then they call to abandon ship? Wasn’t anyone paying attention? Good thing they were in harbor at the time.
You asked about his real name, but they were using fake ones. Don’t you remember your own plan? Again, why did you make it so complicated?
Opal is with the ship.
Rough bathtub -- er -- sea.
Models they are going down!
This must be Baragon.
Another awful Gamera related roar. The Godzilla family of roars are much better.
Baragon and his fist-tongue of destruction.
Not getting the sketch. TGI Tokyo? Not your best work folks.
Everything requires money. What is the point of the pilot giving you all that money at the beginning?
Admits to murder then gets beat up by the cripple.
Horrible fight, but bad guy wins. I’m sure they’ll be okay.
Evacuate the city but baddies have to stay. They need to get the opal, so that makes sense. Dollars over death I always say.
Rampage with tanks. Who would have guessed they would be ineffective?
The fist tongue shoots ice too!
Airplanes attack. As effective as tanks.
Missiles will work for sure! (With same missile joke that was in Gamera...)
Baragons rainbow spikes of heat-giving death -- or something. It is official! Baragon is lame.
Gamera is attracted to the rainbow. What does that mean? Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Pretty lady has a link to Baragon Is she the Kenny? She just knows stuff about the giant monster. So everyone listen to her.
Mr. Bad guy, I am more alive than you thought!
The opal is an egg I don't believe it.
Better fight but not by much.
I'll put my money on the pilot.
I'm sure that post will hold him.
Is she a vampire or something?
Baragon’s weakness is water? Wasn't he in the water when he sank the boat? Baragon doesn’t get any less lame.
Opals and diamonds! New Guinea is a treasure trove of giant jewels!
Greed will kill us all.
Diamonds are a kaiju’s best friend!
Operation Diamond is a failure. I would have never guessed.
Dis the pretty lady.
How about waking up Gamera? Could Gamera help? Isn’t this movie Gamera vs. Baragon?
Science helps those who know too much.
Baragon is a freak, so he doesn't like diamonds. Radioactive diamonds on the other hand...
May I reiterate that Baragon is a lame monster. He can't get wet.
Ruby light emitter will be much more effective with a diamond.
The diamond light works better than just dangling it why?
Car won't start. That is a shock. Someone delay Baragon in some dramatic fashion until we can start the car!
To the lake!
It looked like a Beetle with suicide doors.
Stars in Gamera movie like Willem Defoe...
The heavy is here for the diamond. Tying him to the post didn’t work. This won’t end well.
And he’s dead.
Baragon refuses to get wet. What are they going to do?
Pilot and pretty lady are going to make out -- but wait.
Rainbow death ray can be reflected with mirrors.
A big mirror is our ultimate weapon.
Is Gamera even in this movie?
The mirror worked! Oh, wait.
The rainbow is done, but what now.
Of course they'll fight. Baragon used his ice shooting fist tongue of death on Gamera. He’s got a score to settle.
Of course, Gamera knows Baragon's weakness instintively.
And Baragon is dead, but what about Gamera who destroyed that dam at the beginning.
And now the moral of the story...
Romance is complete...
Ocean credits again...
Rare ending sketch. Books about Kaijus -- including books on tape.
Push the button Frank!